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Saturday, 28 May 2011

Spoilers & Shenanigans

Or to put it better: WTF Buffalo Bill?!?!?

Just watched the latest Dr Who episode and I've just been left with an utter "What the hell?" feeling. Damn them!

Sunday, 20 February 2011

Nothing is permanent in this wicked work - not even our troubles

Charlie Chaplin; love that quote.

So not really had a great weekend this time round. One of our Degus died, our letting agents denied ever allowing us to get a second cat and the cat shelter we were looking round gave the kitten we wanted to someone else. Then again, this could be looked at on a more positive note: we can get a new, baby degu, plus when the letting agent realises they were wrong we can get a kitten, as obviously he one we wanted wasn't 'the one' and will crap on and rip up it's new owner's carpets and curtains.

On the plus side of this weekend, the family tribe all gathered together, minus one aunt and uncle, to celebrate my well-ness and the fact I'm returning to work tomorrow. And how did we celebrate it? That's right: All-you-can-eat Indian Buffet! Score!!

So, three main courses and two desserts later I began reflecting on heading back to work. After all, it has been 3 (and a bit) months since I last worked. I mean 3 half days a week isn't too bad to start off with is it? I'm just glad to be heading back and getting on with something I really enjoy with the people I get on well with.

Hurrrm; too much procrastination me thinks. This review of LittleBigPlanet 2 isn't going to write itself! *gulp*

Adios and remember that troubles are only temporary and only if you let them be troubles!
David
"because life is worth more living."

Sunday, 13 February 2011

Want a piece of my mind?

No? Tough; here it is.

I think I've finally found a measure of peace within myself towards the surgery that I had back in December.

It happened this evening when I was doing a full change of the equipment that goes over my stoma. I was stood in the bathroom, music playing and heater on, when I suddenly realised that I had done it all without realising, minimal revulsion and very quickly.

Rapid check to make sure I had actually changed everything and then it hit me. Success!

Long may this feeling last, well hopefully at least until I'm allowed to get up off lying on the sofa and get about my evening business again - so about 15 minutes give or take a bit.

Also discovered that Gordon (yes, I named my stoma (just like his namesake Mr. Ramsey he can be loud and foul mouthed at times)) is ticklish. If I change my bag or clean him then he gets all tickly; it's weird for me as I'm generally not that ticklish. Either that or he's doing a happy dance for being all clean/having a clean home again. Who knows!

Well i guess that is all for now.

David
"Because life is worth living."

Wednesday, 9 February 2011

Oh, burn it all!

I always felt, deep down, that when I eventually get to hell that I would be greeted by Rowan Atkinson and now there's proof:



And to make it a little bit better, Panic! At the Disco have released a new video a few days ago from their upcoming album.

http://www.twitvid.com/HR1ZU

Saturday, 5 February 2011

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

Ghandi. What a guy.

I just caught this statement on TV whilst channel hopping, trying to get myself to sleep, and it really struck a chord with me. It struck me so hard that i actually rewound the progam at least 5 times in order to listen to it again and again.

Now not many people know this, but last October I was quite literally living each day as if it were my last - I just didn't quite know it at the time.

I was sick. Not the cold/flu sort that you recover from naturally; more the 'if you don't have this surgery we're not sure If you'll last a year' kind.

In a fit of utter stupidity my digestive system had decided to bypass itself, meaning that all that yummy lovely nutritious food I was eating was doing me no good. The technical term is a fistula. By the time October rolled around I was almost knocking at death's door. Skeletal doesn't even begin to describe it. I couldn't even walk from my car into the office without feeling dizzy, lightheaded and sick.

Yet still I ignored things and tried to be my usual happy go lucky self. I blocked out my friends, my family and, most importantly, my new wife, who all pleaded with me to get myself fixed. It eventually took a firm talking to from my boss of all people before I finally saw sense and got myself sorted.

Nowadays I feel the best I have in 5 years or more. All thanks to those who pushed me when I was too blind to see things for myself.

So, going back to Ghandi and what he said. Live life as though you were to die tomorrow, I still do; just don't let it turn into a reality - there will always be at least one person who will miss you when you're gone. And that's one person too many.

Goodnight all.
David

The mystery of failed shopping lists

... Or why I always return home with double what I went to buy.

Evening all;

Why oh why do I keep putting myself through this torture each time I go out to by something? I know it's a sign of good intentions and all that, but I have never managed to go shopping, with a list, and not add at least one (but usually several more than that) item to the basket/trolley?

Take this evening for example: I went out, list nicely typed up on my phone, and headed off to the nearest Tesco to purchase what I needed. Almost the instant after I enter the store and what do I do? Thats right. Went straight to the DVDs and Games aisles. So, after talking myself out of buying YET ANOTHER game this week, I go off to purchase the things that I do actually need. The result? Well I got what i needed but ended up adding a £7 pack of sirloin steak and some raspberry turnovers to the pile. *sigh* Why do I do this to myself?

I should just forget about using lists or send out the wife instead. Actually, that latter option has some promise to it - leaves me at home to complete the games I ALREADY own so then I no longer need to talk myself out of buying new ones in the future.

Anyway. Night all.

David
Because life is worth more living.

Thursday, 20 January 2011

The feeling of friendship is like that of being comfortably filled with roast beef - Samuel Johnson

Morning, morning!

So, I'm going to start this post by talking about yesterday. No, I didn't get to the gallery, although that may happen today, I got much further than that. Whilst it may have taken me almost half an hour to get there, I finally made the long slog up to my doctors surgery to pick up my new doctors note for work. Felt very achieved with that.

Following on from that I then went on to cook dinner for myself and Moosey - roast pork, potatoes and veg (for her, not me). Felt great after doing that; there's nothing like a roast to make you feel all warm and cozy inside.


- My dinner from last night, slathered in apple sauce. -

So, onto today. Well the nurses have just left, well two nurses and one trainee nurse, and things couldn't be happier! Abdominal wound has surprised us all and beaten our bets of Friday/Saturday to reach skin level today, meanig dressing changes only every other day for it. Nether region is also improving; whilst it may still be quite deep (6cm) it is nevertheless much thinner and could only take 1 aquacell over yesterday's 1.5.

So, all things considered, a good time all round. There was some problems with work, but this isn't the place to discuss them. Hmmm, gallery later if the rain holds off.

Time for breakfast I think!

Update: So, i made it to the gallery in the end, although unfortunately they were inbetween their christmas and afghan exhibitions so there was very little to see. Will return next week and check out the afghan displays, but i do feel achieved for making it up there and wandering round the shop for half an hour - every bit of exercise helps!

Because life is worth more living.
David

Wednesday, 19 January 2011

The day man invents the bionic anus is the day I declare science useful - Anon

So, a bit to talk about today.

First of all I'm writing this from my new phone, an Apple IPhone4 that I picked up yesterday, and I have to say that initial findings are ones of contentment. It's such a shame really; I've spent the last 12 months knocking the phone in favour of the Google Android OS. The reason for changing my mind over this is that Motorola, the manufacturer of my old phone, stopped supporting it and Google didn't offer a way for me to update the OS myself. This meant that my phone was running on a version of Android that was 12 months out of date and so many apps and the OS itself didn't work properly. Not so with the IPhone, which only needs to support one hardware type.

Right, onto why today is so awesome so far. The district nurse has just left after changing all of the dressings on my wounds, with the minimum of pain and tickling, and has made the following statement when working on my abdomen: "Oooh! That top part has fully dried out and is growing new skin over it. As to the main wound, well a week ago it was almost 2cm deep; now it's 5mm if that!"

Hoping that, by Friday/Saturday, my main abdomen wound will be to the same stage as the small part at the top - beginning to try and grow skin.

So the aim for the rest of my day is to relax, rest up, and then hopefully head up to my GP surgery this afternoon to pick up my new Sick Note for work. May even try and stop in at the village gallery on my way home too, if I feel up to it. They're doing a seaside art exhibit at the moment and it sounds lovely!

If you fancy giving it a look: Http://www.haddenhamgallery.co.uk

Anyway, guess that's it for now.

Because life is worth more living.
David

Monday, 17 January 2011

Surgery is limited. It is operating on someone who has no place to go. - Dr. John Kirklin

Alo-ha;



"So, what's with two posts in one day?" I hear you ask. Well, my initial post was really all about setting some ground rules - this one is to catch you up on how we have gotten to this point, skipping the really boring parts and trying to gloss over the more embarrassing ones somewhat.



Right, all strapped in? Good - here we go!



- 30th Aug 1987 - I enter the world at Norwich hospital; son to Adina and Steven Ward, although not for long. Not too long after my birth I was given up for adoption and, within a few weeks, I was the new son of Ian and Kathy Spaxman - my mum and dad.



- 1987 to 2001 - I grew a bit, played a bit, learned a lot and forgot a lot of it.



- July 2001 - Wow, what a month! Every kid's dream came true for me this month; a holiday to Disney Land with my parents, brother, sister in law and niece! This was a fantastic holiday, visiting every park, but on the final night I was pretty ill. We thought it was just a tummy bug at the time, but the symptoms continued to re-surface for quite some time after returning home.



- August 2001 - Symptoms of the 'Florida Sickness', as we subsequently named it, resurfaced and I was taken to see my GP. Diagnosis was psychosomatic illness and I was sent away with some holistic medicine to take.



- January 2002 - Symptoms are still persisting sporadically; I have now been off school for 3 months. My dad feels that I might be faking things to avoid school, but mum seems to believe me. I'm taken back to my GP, who again dismissed it as psychosomatic. Just as we were going to leave, my mum turned to the doctor and asked him to weigh me - something that he more than gladly agreed to. As I was stepping on the scales, mum requested that I take my t-shirt off too. So I did. Cue the doctor sitting there gaping, as this 14 year old boy weighs in at just over 5 stone and looks like he's come from a third-world country. End result: referred to a consultant at Hinchingbrooke Hospital for more tests and weight-gain drinks.



- February 2002 - Finally admitted to the children's ward at Hinchingbrooke. The consultant didn't even bother seeing me before writing to get me admitted - my symptoms were that bad! The proceeding tests are going to be glazed over heavily, but suffice to say they were really embarrassing and painful. The moment I came round from the tests the consultant came up to me with the results - Suspected Crohns Disease. Now, at 14, you wouldn't really expect me to know too much about this 'rare' disease; well I did. Just a few days before being admitted I was browsing daytime TV and came across a documentary about severe Crohns sufferers (although it didn't mention it was severe), and so there I was lying in the hospital bed and terrified out of my mind!



The consultant wasn't 100% certain on their diagnosis though, so it was off to the Royal Free in Hampstead, London, for a second opinion. Cue the same tests run as those at Hinchingbrooke and unfortunately, for me at least, the same diagnosis. Great.



- Feb 2002 - October 2010 - Much occurred over this time, but I don't want to dwell on it. Suffice to say, I've been on pretty much every medication available to treat Crohns and none have been successful.



- October 2010 - This memory sees me sat in the consultation room opposite Mr. Bekdash, gastro-surgeon for Hinchingbrooke Hospital. I've gotten to the point of being so ill that I'm no longer at work and medicines are unable to help me anymore. Mr. Bekdash now proposes some radical surgery - an ileostomy - which would solve a lot of my underlying issues and also help me in moving forward in life. No date is discussed, but the understanding is that it will be ASAP.



- 13th December 2010 - Here I am, lying on a gurney and about to be wheeled into the surgical theatre. Building up to the surgery I have spoken with Mr. Bekdash many times and it has now been decided that instead of a normal ileostomy, which can be reversed at a later date, I am now to have a panproctocolectomy. Google it if you wish to know what that means, I don't wish to discuss it at the moment. Right, so into the theatre we go. The anesthetist come up to me, waves his hands in front of my face to distract me and, whilst doing this, puts the anesthetic into my cannula. I have just enough time to realise what he's done and let out a "You sneaky bastard." before...



... Zzzzzzz.



Wait, what the hell's going on?!?? Oh. I'm back on the ward. Woah, what's going on with my stomach? There's some sort of random bag attached to it and tons of metal staples round my belly button. Ooo, there's my PCA button; I'm in a bit of pain so I'll push it...



... Zzzzzzz.



- 22nd December 2010 - Have been told by the doctors that I can go home today. Fantastic!



- 27th December 2010 - District Nurse comes to remove the staples from my stomach and the stitches from my nether regions. Unfortunately she's forgotten the staple remover, will come back later on, but even worse she's found that the skin around my stitches has started to break down and die! Cue a dash to Hinchingbrooke A&E to get it checked. I'm admitted back onto the surgical ward again.



- 31st December 2010 - Released again, but only for the weekend. They've removed my staples and my stitches, but unfortunately there were complications. My stomach wound developed a cavity underneath the skin, so split back open after the staples were taken out, and will need to heal naturally from within. Expected recovery time 8-9 weeks. Even worse, my nether regions had to be debribed (dead flesh cut away) and has left a HUGE gaping hole. Expected recovery time 11-12 weeks. Still, at least they've let me out for the weekend.



- 4th January 2010 - This day went well. Went back to the hospital after my 3 day weekend away and thankfully was allowed to leave again. Now is the time to return home, relax and heal.



- 5th Jan to Now - Healing, healing, TV watching, game playing and more healing. Very boring time and also quite depressing. Spent a lot of time on the Ileostomy Association forums talking to others like me. It helps. IA Forums



So, that's us all caught up now. Stomach wound's mainly superficial now and nether regions are healing okay, if a lot slower than my stomach. So, expect some better posts from now on!



Because life is worth more living.

- David

What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from. - T.S.Eliot

Afternoon;



So, here we are. I've been promising myself for a while now that I would find someway to put my thoughts down somewhere other than just in my head. As I fail at writing, the only other logical solution was here: A blog.



Now I'm no stranger to blogs, having spent many an hour reading other's pages, but I feel there needs to be some ground rules before I give my mind free-reign to post what it wants.



1. I will only post something if there is something interesting to post; this will mean that there should be no posts of "I went to the shop today and brought some butter, then went home and slept all day" - unless that is actually of importance at the moment in time.



2. Swearing in posts is permitted, which you will have noticed by the 'adult content' warning upon loading this page.



3. Whinging and whining is also permitted, although not actively encouraged, as we all need to have a good moan now and again - even if it is just going off into the ether.



4. Each post should start with a quotation relating to the subject matter, unless no quotes exist for it. If that is the case, then a suitably witty, funny or informative title will be used.



Right, so that's the ground rules written. Away you go, brain!



Because life is worth more living.

- David